8.20.2009

Over it.

Maybe just a little.
I'm getting tired of your lies and your false promises and the constant other girls. I guess I'm just tired. And getting is wrong. I've been tired, but now I feel defeated. I feel fucking defeated. No amount of crying or screaming or coaxing or loving or ignoring is going to make you change. This is a hard thing to live with.
I'm trying to remove myself from you, to make myself your lover, live solely in the physical moment, but it's hard for me. It's not in my nature to do so. I love with my whole self, not just my body. I'm very monogamous and I expect my partner to be the same.
And I care for you. I don't want to. But I do. 
Sigh.
What a tangled web we weave.

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