Rip rend tear.

H

For someone so depressed I sure have a lot of hope.

I've seen you at your best and I've seen you damn near your worst.

I still love you, despite many things that should have made me leave you alone forever.

I won't give up. No matter how long it takes, I will make you love me. One day you will open your eyes and see what I have done for you, how I always see how lovely and perfect and gorgeous you are, even though you refuse to see it for yourself. I am all the love you are missing from yourself, walking, fragile, aching, terrible. I want to put it back inside of you one day, when you're ready.

I will wait until then, sometimes patiently and other times not so much. But I will always wait.

I love you more than I have ever loved before, and I fear I will never love as much again.

The worst part

I can't even cry right now.

Just that sinking feeling of dread and my mind mocking me.

I told you so I told you so I told you so.

You stupid silly girl.

I still have hope. I wish I could extinguish it forever so this would never happen again.

Next time. Next time you will be prettier, wittier, better. I will love you forever if you can just do these things.

I'm not sure I believe in possession, but I sure can see how people might think the voice in their mind could be Satan.